I have been waiting for the golden years to appear, but instead, I have found myself running around from Doctor to Doctor for checkups, mine and my husband Gary's. Maybe we are still in the Silver years, or the Bronze Age years. I was doing fine until my Gary started having heart problems. These problems worked their way up to open heart surgery. Nothing prepares you for the medical health problems of someone you love. You must be strong enough to care for them and not let them know how worried you are. You put yourself on the back burner and are on ALERT 24 hours a day. A state of worry and anxiety that you can't even describe. I wasn't eating or sleeping just worrying.
How does Art come into play? Well.......without my art, I probably would be in the institution for the Nervous Nellies of the world...if there is something like that.. If you know me, you know I paint every day....not when your husband is in the hospital. You turn into a "visitor zombie"....you go to the hospital and just watch your husband be a patient....listen to the beeps of all the machines and watch golf....it is exhausting. You watch him eat, and you can't because your stomach is in knots worrying. So what did I decide to do?.....I packed up a rolling bag with art supplies, books, sweaters (IT WAS FREEZING IN THERE) extra drinks. Gary's electronics....etc.....and when the golf came on I painted. I didn't paint anything special...just little things in my journal. But what happened? I relaxed...a bit. Don't get me wrong I was still worried and a little terrified they were going to open his chest up, but I was a bit clamer. I have always said if I have a paintbrush in my hand with paint and paper I am in another zone. One of imagination, joy, and color!
I had help from my family, and was thinking I was okay until the rash struck. The mystery rash.....here is where you laugh.... what is a mystery rash? This happened after 6 weeks of Garys' recovery. He is doing great! He is back to cooking...probably for self-preservation, as I am not a good cook anymore. After two Doctors, one a dermatologist, no one seems to know what this rash is ...not shingles, not any normal rash, just a mystery. What do I do? I paint!, and I journal, with artwork, I sketch, I do anything I can to relax and get me into the zone. When I paint the rash doesn't hurt or bother me....what does that say? To me, it says that painting, doodling, or journaling in any creative medium can help your health. Try it...its free...you can just get a pen and a napkin to start, or copy paper and a pencil.... whatever you have available.
I still have. mystery rash, but as Gary gets better and better and I paint more and more it all gets better.....AND I have NEW Art!
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